My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
