these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
