I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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