Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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