Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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