whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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