Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
