in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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