That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
