I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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