Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
