i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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