are you still at the devil's house?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
