they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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