yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
