After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
