when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
