Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
