Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize