no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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