put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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