Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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