I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
