god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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