he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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