Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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