he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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