What a fucking waste of an outfit
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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