Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
