I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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