she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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