i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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