I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
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