I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
