dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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