Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Who died my cat blue again?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize