And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
