I think my fart just growled at me.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
you never un-have a 4some
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
