The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm too high and old for this...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
