Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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