Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
