just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Randomize
