every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
