please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
