Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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