**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
