so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
