Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
