The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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