have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
