it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize