He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
