her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
