you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
