end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
