Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
