We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
