you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
