sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This house was built for laser tag.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize