I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
