I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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