don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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