Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
