So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
