I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
