Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
