Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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