At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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