I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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