sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize