You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
