worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
