You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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