My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
